MY DEAR FRIEND

The other morning I had a little surprise waiting for me! First I need to tell you that when I arrived in Peru I met this guy. He became a very close friend. I called him "piernas." I tell you what, this fella was fast! He could run and run! Sometimes it seemed like he could fly! Let me tell you....... he was fast! So I just grew used to him always being around. I mean, he never left my side. Quite often his little brothers and sisters would hang out with my garments in the dresser drawers or even out on the streets. I know that he gave his all too! Because we would be walking and walking and I tell you what, he many times would come right out of the grass and cross the sidewalk in front of me. I never knew quite where he was going, he would always take another route you see. But when I arrived at wherever I was going, he would always beat me there! I hated it! When we went to the Poncen's house, he was already there. When we got to the bishops house, he was there. EVEN WHEN I CROSSED THE ANDES IN A PLANE, RODE 8 hours on a bus overnight, over el nevado de salcantay, through el valle sagrado, past santa teresa, past pavayoc and finally into Quillabamba, HE HAD ALREADY GOTTEN THERE! I tell you, I dropped off my suitcase in my new room and headed straight for the bano, and he was already there! HE IS QUICK!! Well, the months passed and he kept right by my side. Sometimes he was under my in the sewer and other times above me on the roofs, but he always beat me to my next destination. I think we were meant to be friends cause sometimes I didnt even tell him where I was going, but he read my mind and would always be there when I showed up. It was almost as if he was inspired. Well, then a sad day came and I left Peru and I left him too! I thought I never thought I would see him again. You see, where I grew up I never had a friend like him before. Well, the years past and I now have a new friend. Her name is Cindy, (I think she is jealous, cause she doesnt like me even talking about this friend that I had in Peru) she is a great friend too. I usually beat her to wherever we go though. Anyway, so I just stopped talking to her or even bringing up his name because she just says, "Tim stop." So you now see my surprise when I saw him the other morning in my bathroom. I was like, SHHHH! You are not supposed to be here! I had thought over the years what I would do If I saw him here, since Cindy said that she cannot live with him. . . . . I decided to be prepared right. So I had this plan. I went to HOME DEPOT (nice marketing add for HD right??) and bought this anti-friend stuff. Here is a picture of it.
I figured that this would do the trick, I told him to get out. He wouldnt, he even tried to climb out of the tun and say HI! I sprayed him! He kept coming! The hair on my head started standing up and I was like, "yo! Remember the Reed Rage that you saw sometimes on the streets of Peru! You dont want that here!"
DID HE LISTEN.. . . NO!!!

So I sprayed him a good 5 seconds! Nothing! He kept coming! I had to even put some of my futbol skills into play when he was right at the ridge of the tub and kick him back in! Then I sprayed him again!

I just guess he wasnt getting the hint man! GET OUT! Then Cindy saw him and got REALLY MAD! She said,"GET HIM OUT!!!" So I showed her that I was spraying him! Again and again! THEN THE REED RAGE CAME OUT AND I SAID, "OK MAN!"

THE CHANGE CAME! SIZE 11 SHOE, RSC knife and alittle hollerin' did the trick! HE IS NO LONGER MY FRIEND! And I hope all of his little brothers and sisters stay in PERU!